Happy is as Happy Does
by Sara K M
Summary: Caroline Ingalls struggles with her feelings for her husband and finding happiness after their family moves to De Smet. As shown by three different Christmases. Written for the WA December Holiday Challenge.


Happy is as Happy Does

 **Disclaimer: I don't own the** _ **Little House**_ **series.**

 **Based mostly on** _ **By the Shores of the Silver Lake, The Long Winter,**_ **and** _ **Little Town on the Prairie.**_ **Small references to** _ **A Little House of Their Own**_ **and** _ **The Little House Scrapbook.**_

 **I'd like to dedicate this story to the memory of Laura Ingalls Wilder. Her books motivated me to become a better reader when I was young and instilled in me a life – long love of history.**

"Charles, this place isn't safe," Caroline Ingalls said to her husband firmly as they climbed into bed. "Those railroad men are out of control."

"Caroline, I know you're shaken up, but it's going to be fine." His hand reached to wrap his arm around her in the dark, his thick beard brushing against her skin. "The men got their pay, and that's all they wanted. The camp will be leaving soon, anyway, and I'll find us a homestead claim."

Caroline shook his arm off her and turned away from him. "I don't see how you can make light of this," she said to the wall. "Those wild men broke into our home last night. What if they had done something to the girls?" Her body shook at the terrible thought. "And tonight, you told me they nearly _killed_ the paymaster, hanging him for their pay. It's too dangerous. We should return to Plum Creek, where it was safe." Caroline closed her eyes, remembering their house in Minnesota near the nice little town. It was so civilized there, with no worries of angry mobs or wild Indians * doing who knew what.

"Caroline, we can't return to Plum Creek," Charles said, his voice sounding just as firm as hers had. "We were in debt. By managing the store at the railroad camp, I can earn enough money to recover our debts. Then we will find a homestead claim."

Caroline stayed silent after that, just listening to the lonely winds howl along the empty prairie. It was true that they had been in debt before they'd left Minnesota; it was the main reason why she'd agreed to the move. But how could you put a price on the safety of your family?

The wind continued to moan, and Caroline shivered, pulling the blanket almost over her face to hide from the frightening noises. As horrible as those winds were, other sounds would be even scarier. Like shouts of drunk men from the railroad camp, demanding to come in their home. Or what of Indians, who killed settlers out on the frontier?

Still, Charles wouldn't consider moving back, that much was clear. Beyond their debts, Caroline knew he didn't want to return to Plum Creek. He loved traveling West; for some reason, he found it exciting despite the dangers. Caroline had always known that her desire to live in settled country versus her husband's longing to travel and see what was beyond the next horizon would be a conflict between them. In fact, she had considered breaking off their courtship once for that reason. But Caroline's heart had hurt too much without Charles and she had decided that "love was not an arithmetic problem."

But perhaps it would have been better if she _had_ treated it as an arithmetic problem? Caroline didn't see how she could ever be happy in this wild country. And the truth was, she had been struggling with her feelings for her husband for some time. First, there was the death of their son, Charles Fredrick, which made Caroline unable to feel _anything_ for a long time. Even the birth of their daughter, Grace hadn't really solved that problem. Then they'd all caught scarlet fever, and she'd devoted all her energy to that. Mary, in particular, caught the worst of the terrible illness. Even today, her poor Mary was still unable to see because of that scarlet fever.

As everyone was recovering, and Caroline was finally able to feel happy, love, and hope again, Charles had decided to move West again. How could her husband be right next to her, and yet emotionally be farther away than ever before? It used to be that his touch brought her comfort. Now it only brought annoyance.

Finally, Caroline shook her head firmly, rubbing her head against her pillow.

 _Happy is as happy does_ , she thought, reminding herself of a phrase she used when any of her family complained of unhappiness. She still had much to be happy about, after all. Mary was feeling stronger, even though she was now blind. Grace was a wonderful little girl, growing stronger every day. Laura, so much like Charles, was just as excited as he was to be out West again. Her family was safe for now, and she prayed they would continue to be. And Charles had promised her that this would be the last move their family would make.

It would have to be enough.

OOOOOOOOOO

"It's a pretty good Christmas, isn't, Caroline?" Charles said in his jolly voice a couple of months later. Their family were housed in the surveyor's living quarters for the winter. It was warm and dry, and safe from the cold weather, but Caroline still strained to be happy here.

A month ago, Charles had suggested they go East for the winter, and Caroline's heart had leaped. But shortly after, he'd announced they'd be able to stay in the surveyor's house, which would be cheaper than going back East. Caroline had agreed of course. How could she not, when it when their family still struggled financially? And of course, Laura's eyes had danced with excitement at the possiblity of staying out here all winter. But why did her husband have to mention the possiblity of returning to settled country, only to snatch it away, like a dream that wouldn't come true?

At least the railroad men were gone, so they didn't need to worry about them causing trouble. If only the thought of wild Indians didn't linger in the back of her mind. _Happy is as happy does,_ Caroline reminded herself again.

Forcing herself to smile, she said, "Yes, Charles, it is."

After all, there was a beautiful blanket of snow covering the area, so it would be a white Christmas. Their family was safe, and Charles had caught a large jackrabbit that would make a great Christmas dinner tomorrow. Caroline had also helped to create wonderful presents for her girls. A warm pair of bed shoes for Mary, a lovely calico apron for Laura, and nice pair of mittens for Carrie. And Grace would receive a brand – new coat made of white swan's skin and blue silk. She looked forward to seeing the girls' faces when they opened their presents. Most importantly, tomorrow was the birth of the Lord.

Caroline placed the bowl of cornmeal mush and milk on the table. "Come and eat. A hot supper will warm you quicker than anything else, Charles." She'd even made a pair wool socks for her husband, as she had to give him something.

They spent the next couple of hours reminiscing old Christmases and singing carols. The girls particularly remembered the time on Plum Creek, when Charles had been lost in the blizzard. Caroline's heart ached at the memory, remembering how worried she'd been about him. Because she'd loved him. Would she ever feel like that about her husband again?

Tears came to Caroline's eyes and she tried to hide them away, but everyone noticed anyway. "It's just thankfulness, Charles," she said.

The girls' faces all lit up as Charles played Christmas carols on his fiddle, and she smiled at their enthusiasm of his jolly music. Sometimes Caroline thought she was asking too much, expecting to feel as in love with her husband now as she had when they were married. The reality was that Charles Ingalls was a good man and a good father. He didn't drink and did everything he could to provide for their family. And look how happy he made their girls.

 _Happy is as happy does_ , Caroline thought again as music filled the room, including her own voice.

OOOOOOOOOO

Everyone was surprised when they had visitors late that Christmas Eve. Caroline's heart had pounded in fear at first, worried that there might be more outlaws or Indians right outside. Who knew what would happen in this savage country? But it was only the other civilized people in this area. Mr. and Mrs. Boast would stay with the Ingalls for Christmas. Mr. Boast was a big, jolly man that made everyone laugh, even Caroline. She couldn't remember the last time she'd laughed as much as she did in this man's presence, and it felt wonderful. Mrs. Boast was a small woman with brown hair, who looked like she might be as young as Mary.

What might have been the best part of the visit was when Charles suggested he and Mr. Boast would sleep by the fire while Caroline slept with Mrs. Boast in the master bed. She tried not to dwell on how much her heart had leaped, knowing that she didn't need to worry about Charles touching her in the bed.

Smiling, Caroline set the table for Christmas breakfast, placing a gift next to each plate. She'd even found gifts for the company.

Soon, Mrs. Boast woke up as well. "Merry Christmas, Caroline,' their visitor said with a smile. "I'd like to help you with the cooking."

"Nonsense," said Caroline. "You're a guest; please go sit and relax." With that, she made her way to the pantry.

But Mrs. Boast followed directly after her. "Caroline, I know you weren't expecting Robert and I to be here today, and I don't want you to work harder than you need to. Consider my helping you a Christmas present."

Finally, Caroline nodded. "I'll make the biscuits if you start slicing the potatoes," she said with a warm smile.

OOOOOOOOOOOO

"Oh, how marvelous," Mrs. Boast said as she examined her gift. Caroline had wrapped up her best Sunday handkerchief as a Christmas present. Her eyes widened, and her voice sounded so merry, to receive a present.

Caroline smiled in return.

Unwrapping her own gift, Caroline was astonished to discover that her girls had made her a lovely calico apron and a brand – new handkerchief in the pocket. "Wonderful stitching," she told them as she admired the apron and the handkerchief several times.

Mary loved her bed shoes, rubbing her hands all over them. "They feel soft," she said with a smile.

"They were made from old blankets!" Carrie exclaimed, looking at the shoes with her older sister. Caroline's heart felt warm as she watched them.

"Fourth of July mittens!" Carrie said with a huge grin as she opened her striped mittens.

Laura was so surprised she received a calico apron, just like her mother's. "I do thank you!" she told them all, admiring the apron. Caroline smiled at her.

Then came the best part. Heart beating a mile a minute in excitement, Caroline pulled out the little white coat for little Grace. Her daughter eyes lit up as she felt the swan-down collar on her neck and laughed as she felt them on her wrists.

Caroline's heart ached with love for her youngest daughter, to see her so happy.

At some point, Charles must have opened his package, but Caroline didn't really notice or remember it. And if she didn't look her husband in the eye at all that day, what did it matter? Caroline had others to fill her heart with happiness this Christmas.

OOOOOOOOOOOOO

 _One year later…_

"Gilbert made it to Preston and back," said Charles's jolly voice as he came inside, still covered with snow from the latest blizzard. It seemed as if it would never stop this year. It would certainly be a white Christmas. "He's brought the mail!"

Caroline's heart leaped in excitement, wondering if the church papers would be available now. She did long for more spiritual reflection and news about their congregation. Without thinking, she found herself staring into Charles' deep blue eyes for a moment, grateful he'd brought such wonderful news.

 _What happened there?_ Caroline wondered as her husband disappeared to retrieve the mail from the post office. She'd thought she'd had stopped looking into her husband's eyes a long time ago. A few moments ago, she'd been almost gazing into them.

It was true her appreciation for Charles had increased in the past year. When she'd wished there could be more shade out on the empty prairie, he'd bought a few cottonwood trees for their homestead claim. But most importantly, when Charles believed this winter would be long, hard, and snowy, he'd wasted no time moving their family into the building in town. Even though Caroline knew Charles would rather be out in the country, on the homestead claim, he'd put their family's safety first. And now, despite all the snow that piled up, they were all safe and warm in this building in the town.

The settlement had grown significantly since last year, too. De Smet was still considered a small town, but it was big enough for a general store, a post office, and a school which Laura and Carrie attended. There would be no outlaws or wild Indians to worry about this year. The area was now civilized.

It took Charles longer than they had expected to get to the post office and back, but finally he appeared again, covered with snow, and carrying an exciting bundle. In it were the church papers that Caroline had hoped to see, and Laura and Carrie had some copies of the _Youth's Composition._ There was also a letter from Reverend Alden, the minister whose preaching they'd enjoyed at Plum Creek addressed to Mary.

Mary's hands moved over the letter, her fingers telling her its size. "A big, thick letter!" said Mary, her face shining bright. "Read it, Ma."

So, Caroline read the letter. It said he'd hoped to organize a church in their area. The Ingalls' family thought that would be great, to have the minister that they'd loved from Plum Creek out here as well. But unfortunately, he'd been sent farther North. Still he hoped they would all enjoy the papers he'd sent. The church had also sent a Christmas barrel full of clothing and a turkey for Christmas dinner.

There was a silence as she finished the letter. Everyone looked outside at the piles of snow. Would the Christmas barrel get here, or would the snow block it?

"A lot can happen in a few days," Charles said in a voice full of hope. "We may get the barrel by Christmas."

OOOOOOOOOOOO

"I'm going to work on the railroad," Charles announced early next morning. "Mr. Woodworth needs as many men as possible to clear the snow. If we have enough man – power, we might get a train by Christmas!"

Carrie cheered at that possiblity, and Mary and Laura's face shined with hope.

When Charles returned that night, he was smiling widely. "The work train will come through tomorrow, and the regular train will come the day after that."

Caroline smiled, looking to his eyes again, grateful for all the work he did for them and the rest of the town. But his eyes were too red and puffy. "What's wrong with your eyes, Charles?" she asked, concerned

"Shoveling in the snow is hard on the eyes," he replied. Then he told her to fix up some salt – water for him, and he'd be fine.

Meanwhile, Caroline worried about Christmas presents this year. Even with the railroad coming, how would they be able to buy any gifs? The blizzards kept Charles from being able to work, and they needed to use their extra money for fuel. Even the Christmas barrel wasn't a sure thing. She tried to prepare the girls.

"What about Santa Claus?" asked little Grace, her lip trembling as if she might cry.

Caroline's heart broke for her youngest daughter. This was the first Christmas she was able to understand something like Santa Claus, and now they had no way of obtaining gifts. "Santa Claus always comes to good little girls," she told Grace firmly, determined to find a little something for her three – year old.

"Perhaps we could save my church papers and the _Youth Composition_ to read on Christmas Day?" Caroline suggested to the older girls. "Then they could be like a present. And of course, we'll have music, with your Pa's fiddle." There was no way they could be truly unhappy on the birth of the Lord, after all. "Remember, happy is as –"

"- happy does," Mary finished with a smile.

OOOOOOOOOO

Caroline eyes widened in shock as she saw the Christmas table set with a present for each of their places. How had this happened? They had bought Grace little wooden men to play with, but what about the rest?

Just then, Charles came in with a huge smile. He was holding fresh milk from their cow and something else. Two cans of oysters from the store. "You can make us oyster soup for Christmas dinner!" he told her, his blue eyes twinkling with excitement. Had she really forgotten how cute he looked when his eyes twinkled like that?

Caroline looked at the small pail of milk. "I can thin it out with water," she decided, glad that their family would have a nice Christmas dinner after all. Thanks to Charles.

They all sat down and stared at the gifts, each wrapped in red and white paper. Caroline enjoyed how happy Charles was to receive his new suspenders that the older girls had pooled their pennies to buy. Mary received a fine knitted lace runner, which her fingers admired. Carrie had a cross – stitch picture with a nice frame made from an old Sunday school card. Even Caroline received a cardboard hair receiver to place her combs. Laura had made them all. "Thank you," they all told the young woman.

Caroline tried her best to cook the oysters, stirring the right amount of water into the milk to make enough for everyone. But the coal was low. How was she to cook without a fire? And would the girls grow cold?

Charles saved the day again by twisting the slough hay into sticks for burning. "Here's your fuel, Caroline," he said as he threw them into the fire.

Jumping and crackling, the fire immediately grew. The room became toasty warm, and the smell of oyster soup filled the air. Her husband was very clever. Even without the train and the coal, they would be fine. "Trust you, Charles, to find a way," Caroline said, appreciation, almost adoration, clearly in her voice. He'd saved their family again.

"You are good at that yourself," Charles said with a soft smile. Caroline looked into his eyes again, grateful for his kind words.

Between Laura's gifts and Charles's oysters and hay – sticks, it was a wonderful, happy Christmas for all.

OOOOOOOOOO

 _One year later…_

"That's everything," Caroline said, sealing the Christmas box for Mary. There was a gift from each of them inside it. Laura had knitted her sister a lace collar, Carrie had made handkerchiefs, Grace had bought a blue ribbon with her pennies, and she and Charles had put a five – dollar bill in an envelope. They had also all contributed to a nice long, Christmas letter for their young woman.

"She'll know we are thinking of her," Caroline said firmly, trying to perk up the heavy atmosphere caused by Mary's absence.

There was a large hole in her heart, with her oldest daughter missing this year, but Caroline loved that Mary was finally able to go to college. She knew that Mary would enjoy college just as much as she had. Her oldest daughter had always been eager for school to begin and reveled in learning, just like Caroline. It was wonderful to have a college for blind people like Mary.

OOOOOOOOOOO

"Merry Christmas, Caroline," Charles said on Christmas morning that year, trying to sound cheerful, but not really succeeding.

"Merry Christmas, Charles," Caroline sighed and began dressing for the day.

Charles' strong arms immediately surrounded her, and her arms wrapped around him in return. No words were necessary.

Caroline couldn't believe how much their relationship had changed in the past two years. Two years ago, she'd struggled with her feelings and found Charles's touch annoying. Last year, she'd somehow began to be attracted to him again, thanks to all he'd done for her and their family. This year, Caroline's heart was full of love for her husband again. She couldn't imagine handling Mary's absence without his support and affection.

"We'll have a good Christmas," Caroline said firmly, to both of them. " It is the birth of the Lord, after all. Mary is happy, going to college. And we have some nice presents for the other girls. Happy is as happy does."

OOOOOOOOOO

Grace was thrilled with her gift: a real doll with a china head and black slippers sewed onto her cloth feet. Charles had even made the doll a miniature cradle out of a cigar box, and Caroline and the other girls had created a patchwork quilt for it.

Laura and Carrie received books that she and Charles had bought in Iowa where they had taken Mary to college. In turn, the girls had bought her a lovely German – silver thimble and Charles a nice blue silk tie.

Everyone did their best to be happy. Laura and Carrie tried to smile as they opened their gifts. Charles filled the building with fiddle music, just as he always did, although it sounded significantly less jolly. But she smiled at each of them, appreciating their efforts.

But even though Mary was missing, Caroline was content overall. De Smet was a lovely little town, now. It not only had a store, a post office, and a school, it also had literaries! Every Friday evening, the schoolmaster would host an event. There had been a spell – down, a play, and a debate so far. Caroline loved them. Charles, also, seemed quite happy living on the prairie, both on the homestead claim and in town, if they had their family.

Without thinking about it, Caroline leaned over and gave her husband a kiss as they readied for bed that night. His thick, furry bread brushed up against her face, and she giggled, loving the way it tickled her as Charles kissed her back.

Caroline had been correct, all those years ago. "Love wasn't an arithmetic problem" at all. She and Charles loved each other again, and they'd made it work.

 ***I'm sorry if this bothers any of my readers, but in the** _ **Little House**_ **books, it is very clear that Caroline "Ma" Ingalls was prejudice against Native Americans. It's something Laura Ingalls Wilder references, that her mother "hated Indians and was afraid of them."**


End file.
